step up and have your fortune read

i feel like an oracle sometimes......that is a delusion from bipolar? or is it? i don't know. i am trying to work this out while i post my thoughts.....

                     i doubt my own thoughts this real? am i crazy? is this really happening? i just do what i am told. post and not think about it. that is stream of conciousnes

if this is real, it will happen and people will read it and think i am crazy and cart me off to the looney bin

then i think nah it is art don't worry about it

last night, it was really late at night, and i always pace and get agitated then. i  heard sirens and looked out to see an ambulance and firetruck pulling up outside our building. i was so scared someone had read this and sent them to take me away....i was staring out the window to see which building they were going into....whew.....i am ok. i just need to get my life going for me. need to get myself up.

i will do it. i have to be strong.

i have all these thoughts, and then i force myself to get dressed and go out to appear as near to "normal" as i assume they all think i should. i am hidden. i am shining underneath. it is my tiny secret.

and u know what, i always know how everyone will look at me. i am empathic like that. i will be thought of as touched in the head. i think i am unique.