How To Be Bipolar In LA 7
Sandi Yeah, Me.
April 4, 2008
Post script: I went to this drug counseling meeting at this new church I’m trying last night. I was talking about how I’ve been waffling back and forth about the really old scriptures; Adam and Eve, the Flood, Lot’s wife being turned into a pillar of salt, the walls of Jericho tumbling down, etc., and how I’m wondering if the old stuff was based on mythology instead of the Real Word of God. My new friends told me to ask God about these stories, and to look out for how God works in my life. I told them about all the synchronistic things that have happened to me in the past, and how I knew it was God that was working for me.
When I left, I got in my car and turned on my radio. I love rock music. Always have. I’ll be a rocker until the day I die. Robert Plant is my icon. I want Stairway to Heaven played at my funeral. I have my stations already tuned in to what I like to listen to. For some reason, it wasn’t working when I turned it on, and I got static only. I hit scan, and it went to one of my favorite rock stations: 106.7 KROQ.
I have that station’s bumper sticker on my car. On it, I heard this Jamaican guy singing reggae about God. The lyrics went like this: “I Give Myself to God With the Essence of My Being.” Here we go again. I felt it was speaking directly to me. I’d never heard that song, and I’ve definitely never heard reggae songs about God on a hard rock station before. I turned it up. The next song, the lyrics said, “ I Call Your Name When I Feel So Helpless”. Wow. Cool. By then I had reached home. I really felt communication with Something Out There. It made me smile. Thanks for the Message, God. I love You!
You have to be open to Signs like that in your life. God works through all of us, and you have to listen to your intuition. That’s how you receive Messages in a passive way. By being Creative, you are being active and open to a Higher Consciousness. I believe this very much. You have to put out good vibes to the Universe, and you’ll receive it back. When I’m depressed, I’m blocked to the Messages. Now that I’ve written this and plan to put it out for people to read, I receive Messages. Just be open. Believe it or not, that’s your choice. Just try it. See what happens! God loves you all.
April 8, 2008
Hey another shout out to you people out there! I just got back from the mental health clinic I go to. They read my essay about being bi-polar, and they’re going to try and help me get it published! Is that cool or what? They said that I’m a good writer and they think I’d be a good voice for the mentally ill! And when I got in my little car, I turn on my radio. It’s on Jack FM. What’s playing? ‘Message in a Bottle’ by the Police! The next song? ‘Free Falling’ by Tom Petty! Synchronicity! Check with Jack FM if you don’t believe me! 93.1 Jack FM! Woo Hoo! Sending Out An SOS……!!
I just called my job counselor at the clinic I go to. I told her about hearing the songs. She said, “Wow. That’s really odd!” I told her that she’s got to listen to that Police song. She thanked me for calling her, and said she would download it tonight. Listen to the song, people! Yeah, baby! Phone Home, Bono!
8pm, Same Day.
Hey, again! Y’all are not going to believe this! Do you know how I said Bono grokked? Well, just now, a person named Crock just called me for an interview. This person did not put his name in the ad for a part time position he’s seeking to fill. How did he pronounce that name? Grok! Ha Ha! I told him,” You have got to be kidding me! I only just today was writing about Grokking something!” He said that I sounded like a nice person and would get back to me.
I want to tell you people about the Epiphany I had last June. I had just met my new boyfriend, and I was manic. Like I said, he thought I was on crack. My drug addict friends thought I was on meth. I have never touched either of these drugs. Just pot.
One day, I looked in the local paper, and saw a lot of ads for yard sales. I decided to take my boyfriend with me to check them out. We went about 10 yard sales that day, and I of course, being manic, spent every dime I had. I kept going to the bank to the ATM to get more money to spend. We brought home tons of stuff. People were just giving stuff away to me as well. I’d tell these people to remember me, because they were going to hear about me one day.
This one sale, the people were having an estate sale, because their father was being put into a home. Their mother had died a few years earlier, and her name was Betty. They were just giving loads of stuff away, because they wanted the house cleared out so they could show it that day to a real estate agent. This was in Culver City. Betty had been very creative when she was alive, and they gave me a lot of her stuff that she had been working on. There was a red jacket with her name on it. I put it on. I like Betty Boop a lot, so I kept going around the house, saying “Betty Boop, Betty Boop, Betty-Betty Boop!”
Betty had left all these party hats behind. I would put one on, and then change it for another while I was gathering together all my free stuff. A pirate’s hat. A derby. A flapper’s hat with the really big feather. It amused these people to see me wearing these hats. The day before, I had gone to that yard sale where the lady gave me boxes of National Geographics and decorating books. I was very happy. I’d hit the jackpot! It took a lot of trips in my Geo Metro to get all this stuff back to my boyfriend’s house.
When we got to my boyfriend’s house, I took some of it to the bedroom to sort it out. These people had given us tons of stuff. I wanted to inventory it all, just to see who gave me what. As I was doing this, I was listening to Jack FM. An announcement came on: Roger Waters was having a ‘Wall’ concert at I think, the Hollywood Bowl. That was when my Epiphany hit. BAM! I started thinking, “The Wall, The Wall, The Wall, Tear down the Wall. The Berlin Wall, The Wall, The Wall...” That’s when I began dancing non-stop and writing all the lyrics down. That’s when I went on my journeys around LA.
See, I met Roger Waters in 1986, I think. I was dancing in a club in Ft. Lauderdale at the time, and the dj at the club was looking for girls to dance at a private party held for the crew that worked for Roger Waters. He was going to be playing in Miami the next night. I took my friend Lia with me so she could make some money, too. Her stage name was Terra, and mine was Sugar. I liked the name Sugar ever since I saw Marilyn Monroe in ‘Some Like It Hot.’
We finished dancing and got dressed, and we went to hang out with the crew and talk. This tall, thin English guy with a moustache named Peter invited us to the concert the next night. He said he was a Lord. I didn’t know if I believed that, but he was attracted to my friend Lia. She’s a very tall Pilipino girl from Lansing, Michigan. I couldn’t wait to go, because I loved Pink Floyd since I was a kid. I’d listen to ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ for hours.
So, off we go to the concert the next night. We got to sit up front and watch Roger do ‘The Wall.’ Someone from the crew invites us backstage to meet Roger after the concert. Cool! We go in, and shake hands with him, and he invites me over to sit with him. He took a shining to me, and I was thrilled to be talking to him because I love creative people. We sat and talked, and when I would get up to go to the bathroom, whoever was sitting with him would have to move so I could sit back down and resume our chat. His manager walks up to me and says, “He never sits and talks to people like this-he’s a musical genius!” Everyone gets ready to go back to the hotel he’s staying at to have a little party after the show, and I was invited. My friend Lia wanted to leave, and the tall guy named Peter said that he would get me home safely. Off we all go.
When we all get there, we all sat in the bar downstairs at a big round table and talked and had a drink. Roger and I resumed our conversation. I don’t know how long it lasted, but everyone was leaving to go to I think Peter’s place to party afterwards. I wanted to go. Roger wanted to stay, and he said that he was a married man. I wasn’t looking to sleep with him, I swear! I just wanted to keep talking to him about his songs. I guess he misinterpreted it, because when I asked him to please go with me, he very rudely said “NO!” That broke my heart, and I left with Peter and his friends.
I ended up meeting this artist that night and that had done all of Pink Floyd’s album covers. He had a small portfolio and showed them to me. I witnessed some guy from Bad Company slap the girl he was with. I wanted to go over and slap him back.
After all these years, my heart is still broken. Sometimes I turn off Pink Floyd when they’re on the radio, because I’m still wounded. I just couldn’t understand what I had done to get such a response from my hero. Roger, get over yourself. I didn’t want to screw you, I just love musicians and artists and dancers. All you creative lot. I identify with the song, ‘Comfortably Numb’ because of my illness. Just call me a crushed butterfly.
So if anyone that knows Roger sees this, ask him if he remembers back in 1986 meeting a small blonde girl at his concert in Miami who he sat and chatted with. I’m sure he won’t of course. Lia dated Peter a few times, but it didn’t go anywhere. She went to New York City with him and came back soon afterwards. I lost touch with Lia a few years after that. I miss her. She was a sweet girl.
Oh, and Bono, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”
April 12, 2008
I decided to send Him (God) a text message a couple of days. I said, “ should I give your phone number so the world can SOS You? Something told me to turn the radio on. Jack FM. Blondie is in the middle of a song. “Call Me, call Me, call Me any, anytime, call Me.” Cool. I find it very entertaining to receive these Messages. God definitely has a good sense of humor. Hey, he made us, didn’t He?