Hormones gone wacko....

I just turned 52, and I suppose I have been going through menopause for about 10 yrs now. Or peri~menopause, to be exact. Now I have PMS and depression every month. And have heavy periods. My doc said I could either have a hysterectomy, or just wait til I go into full menopause. I never feel good ever. And I get so moody before my cycle...I just feel awful and think bad thoughts.....feel ill all over. Been self medicating a lot to ease the pain, but conversely, when I smoke, it makes me more depressed. Or more hopeless. I smoke to alleviate pain and sadness, but get more sad but also not so in pain. It is hard to say.....I just want happiness in my life, and I have given up.....