yep that is me....i realized so bluntly accompanying my friend to her family functions how redundant i have become. total joke....face is changing and getting deep wrinkles, body changing...slumping forward and depressed looking....where is the pretty gal from bama? i am her aged and dour grandma...sour old biddy....hatin' life.
if i meant something to anyone in this world, i would imagine i would be contacted and told i matter. not to kill myself....not curl up and die....i have no idea how i am gonna take care of myself anymore. i have given up. don't trust anyone. especially men. feel alien and stupid in this world. feel lost and alone and use god as a crutch to feel better. smoke weed to get things done. spiraling down into a pit of despair......can't support myself anymore. can't take care of myself anymore. i am so alone and i can't stand to be in social gatherings.....i have to drink and get high to function around here.....sad oh sad.....i miss my lost love from 6000 miles away, but at the same time, i hate him and want nothing to do with him.
iran is gonna nuke somebody anyway, and it's all gonna be on for champagne supernova in the sky......or maybe north korea....bunch of fucking psychos in this world! so ironic.....the world is so beautiful, but so violent.....we are all on the food chain....dog eat dog god eat god........i wish i knew a lover who cared about what i say.....someone that told me he cared what i thought about....someone who appreciated art and culture and is sexy and funny and kind and intelligent......
c'est le vie as they say.....that is life......u don't always get what u want.....u get what u need.....righ, mick? yeah baby...he is a good strutter!
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