Sunday, January 15, 2012

just an example of how my moods change from one minute to the next.....i have to write it down as i feel gets the vomit out....the friggin bile.....backed uppppppppppppppppppp

sometimes i feel so de~genderfied. don't care if it isn't a word. going with the flow of the universe. i have no gender. i check to see that, yeah, according to the mirror, i am a woman. what does that mean? why am i a woman and how did i end up here in this meat suit?
hey, why am i stuck in this thing? i want to move on and experience life and not be in a prison anymore. can i ditch this bag of bones and move on, please? she is a drag, just leave her behind. they will find her and it will be over and i will be gone then. we all have to leave sooner or later. we all have to ditch our bag of bones.....hahahaa flash on stephen king. i read a lot of his stuff as a teen. i always had this morbid sense of reality. i guess i am eccentric at that. i guess i should embrace it, auntie mame style. get more colorful and amazing as i get older. grandma moses type. georgia o'keefe type.

yeah, that will do me good, God! please send all my artist friends to me NOW, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen! I only ask what you promised in your solemn oath to your child. Ask anything in Jesus' name and it will be given to you.

Well, I am asking you, Oh God my Father.....send me my angels and send me my husband that will be good to me and heal me and love me and look after me. And make me strong in spirit and resolution to get WELL and HEAL from Bipolar Disorder and Depression. Grant me wisdom and fortitude and humor. Send me words to sing from my fingertips, and smiles to brighten my day. Heal and grant us all love and Peace and harmony.....God of the Universe. If this is real, and social media is world wide, I can reach you, God! I know it! I am positive and radiant and happy and joyous and silly funny happy happy joy joy joy!!!!!!!

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