Saturday, June 20, 2009

Saturday inside my head

I can't deal with this stress of no money.. I have gone over the edge in alot of ways. Won't leave my apt...Won't have anything to do with my friends. Depression is killing me. My friends pounded on my door a couple of days ago, to see if I was still alive. I wanna die. I think about it enough. I feel very sluggish and can't function. I try to sleep, and am depressed and frightened in my dreams. I wake up crying and feeling hopeless. I just don't know if I have a worth to my life. That I matter in any way whatsoever. Men on my social sites tagged and myspace tell me how beautiful I am all the time.. How desirable and sweet. I eat ashes and say thank u. It doesn't mean anything to me. I have learnt that some of these men that I have told to read my blog and have told that I have messages sent to me, is avoiding me. AndI have found that men avoid me after a couple of dates. They don't wanna know a crazy girl. Fuck u all............


  1. I want to know you... the only thing is..... I am bipolar and gay. haha, but other than that I think you are a beautiful soul with a lot to offer the world.
    btw - a friend once told me that when you feel the wave of depression coming on... eat lots of chocolate and drink stuff with caffene.
    It kinda helps me.


    Inaldn Empire

  2. thanks hon! i wish i could get in touch with u people that leave comments for me! would be nice to meet fellow wack jobs! hahahaa