Saturday inside my head

I can't deal with this stress of no money.. I have gone over the edge in alot of ways. Won't leave my apt...Won't have anything to do with my friends. Depression is killing me. My friends pounded on my door a couple of days ago, to see if I was still alive. I wanna die. I think about it enough. I feel very sluggish and can't function. I try to sleep, and am depressed and frightened in my dreams. I wake up crying and feeling hopeless. I just don't know if I have a worth to my life. That I matter in any way whatsoever. Men on my social sites tagged and myspace tell me how beautiful I am all the time.. How desirable and sweet. I eat ashes and say thank u. It doesn't mean anything to me. I have learnt that some of these men that I have told to read my blog and have told that I have messages sent to me, is avoiding me. AndI have found that men avoid me after a couple of dates. They don't wanna know a crazy girl. Fuck u all............