Hurt Me

I think he sent that video to hurt me cuz I was so upset and telling him off last week. That was a cruel thing to do, Nico. I told him about me thinking maybe he was rubbing salt into my wounds, and he asked to be forgiven, but I think he really did it to hurt me now that I think of it. He probably is that happy, but why did he have to send that to me?? He knows I have been crying over him....that is a mean thing to do to me, Nico. That is not right. I thought you were a good person too. What a joke. I am made a fool of by a man once again...Will I ever learn?? I wish to God I could turn off my feelings! I feel so sad and it irks me he is so happy. I want happiness too, and that has been all I have wanted my whole entire life....Do I end up killing myself to stop this pain and loneliness?? I look so old and wrinkled now. My face has changed so much. I feel like an old bitter spinster crazy cat lady.....no God, please help me find happiness! Please oh please!