Saturday, April 30, 2011

Shaky Days

I tried again today to go out and get groceries and had to come home. I went to Big Lots to get cat food and other stuff, and started feeling sick and shaky and feeling like I was going to fall over. Feeling irritable and sad and confused. Like an absent minded professor. So I bought that stuff and forgot about groceries and came back home with some take out chicken from El Polo Loco.

I got my mail and got a letter from my doc saying that I have hypothyroidism and she sent me another prescription take to get filled for that. I have to take pills too for high cholesterol. I looked up my condition, and the symptoms I have for sure. Kinda same as symptoms of depression. Aches, irritability, confusion, weakness, depression, oh and heavy periods, which i suffer through every month, etc.......great. I been feeling like I have been dying slowly....My depression has been really intense since Nico said he had a gf. I feel miserable every where I go. I am going to walk to that church down the street tomorrow to meet my friend Denise there. I need some spiritual help. I don't care that much for the pastor though. He starts ranting about stupid stuff sometimes...but there are people more my age there. The other church I have been going to, there are lots of old people there.

There have been big tornadoes in Alabama, my home state, killing lots of people and causing tons of damage....Mama said that where she lives in Miss., the next town over was blown away.

I saw a woman in the alley sleeping behind Big Lots, and as I drove by I said a prayer for her. Then I started feeling guilty that I didn't stop to help her, so I was going to turn around and go back and give her something to drink or eat. But I was feeling so awful I just went home instead...I thought of the story Jesus told of the Good Samaritan the whole time and felt guilty about not going back. But I really feel so sick when I am out, I end up trying to get home and back to lie down from exhaustion.

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