Sunday, May 3, 2009
Don't Ask Me What I'm Doin' Cuz I Don't Know
After crying two days and trying to say goodbye to my married lover in my heart, I was feeling a little better. I was chatting with my long distance friend in Italy when my married lover called me. Said he wanted to go for a coffee and talk. Said he hadn't slept all night. I let him come over and we went to breakfast. He says that he wants to stay in my life even if we are just friends. Said he wanted to see me on my terms and at my pace. Whatever will make me comfortable. He is very sweet. I told him I had a crush on him. He says he knows and won't break my heart. My friend told him I am fragile and to not break my heart too. I have been on my own so long that to me it is Heaven to get some positive attention directed at me. I suppose I am going to see him after all. I am on an emotional rollercoaster. He said that he didn't feel any guilt about sleeping with me, cuz his wife ran around on him last year. I tell him to please not talk about her. I feel jealous when I hear her name.