Just Another Piece Of Ass

i gotta a date in 2 hrs, and i do not want to go. i am not looking forward to it. i hate blind dating. it sux. i was happy in my deluded way of thinking that paul felt something for me. then i realized after chatting with friends that no matter how good he seems, he is just another man out for a piece of ass on the side. i guess i am qualified now for that mission. feel alot of pain and went and bought as stoney a pot as pos and have been hitting my bong. now i am sick and ill and stoned out of my gourd. i plan on drinking as well. i feel weak and sick. yeah, i be ILL"N. when u r n emotional pain, it drains the life out of u out of me. like all my energy has drained out of my feet and circling the hole. i feel my aura streak with black and gray. i am putrid. i think about death over salad. he will chat and my mind will wander as i sip my wine. i am not attracted to most men. maybe all men? i don't know. it is very hard for me to trust. very hard.