I went to church with my friend Elizabeth again yesterday and then to Coffee Bean across the street from where we live. Yesterday was Mother's Day. I haven't seen my mama in about 9 yrs now, and Elizabeth lost her mom a couple of months ago. I felt sad. I didn't even feel like sitting through the service at church.
I was telling Elizabeth as we were sitting drinking our tea and coffee that I can't even bear to see or hear anything about weddings or babies anymore. That I feel like my life is over and how I have totally wasted it on men that were no good for me. She said I have to stop thinking negative thoughts and saying negative things or it will come true. I have heard that before. That your thoughts become your reality.
So, I try to Let Go, And Let God.....Give my disappointments and pain to Him to deal with.
Here Lord, please take this 18 wheeler truck load of depression and pain from me. This load of fear and hurt and sadness. This hopelessness and despair. Confusion and heartache. This loneliness and lethargy and apathy. This regret. This isolation. Take these suicidal thoughts that hurt me and tear them up and throw them away. Take away my sadness and show me how to live.
Please send me Love and good people to support me and take care of me. Send me happiness and good thoughts. Help me to be creative and joyful and walk in Your Light. Help me to do good things with my life, and send me on the Path of Jesus and His teachings.
Take away my nightmares and tiredness. Give me health and energy. Send me a beautiful man that will love me and take care of me. Someone who I will love too. Someone I can trust. Someone that will go to church with me and do good things with me. Someone creative and artistic and sensitive and humorous. Someone that will be marry me and give me a nice home where I can have my flower garden and pets and maybe a child, if it is not too late. Someone that will take me traveling the world and seeing this beautiful Earth. Please give me peace of mind and happiness in my heart and soul, Dear God.
In Christ's Name I Pray, Amen.
I love you! xx