Friday, May 20, 2011

Look At Me...The Special Girl.

I rode to Venice Beach yesterday with my friend E. and her aunt. I had a nice time. It is so hard to get out these days, that when I do get out, it is like I am an invalid noticing everything and being grateful.  Feeling in the moment and aware of reality. It was a beautiful day, and I got up really early and got ready hours before I talked to E. on the phone and made plans to go Venice.

LA traffic is way harsh. Dealing with it can give you a stroke. Especially during "rush hour". More like, move a couple of feet, sit, look around, listen to talk radio, couple more feet, sigh, just a little bit annoyed when things aren't moving, and then feeling it build up to a crescendo of frustration and curses. I am really good at cursing! ahhaha

Anyway, just to say we took the bus, and it was great not to be behind the wheel. Felt like I was helping clean the air too. Cuz our local busses burn clean gas. I am surprised sometimes that we aren't all dead from the smoggy air here in LA.

 I have awful allergies now. I told my Doc that I never had allergies until after I moved here, and he told me he hears that all the time. All my friends have allergies too. I feel tired tired tired all the time. I have more than one nap a day if I am really not feeling good. So getting out and feeling the fresh spring breezes on the beach was helpful with my depression.  Sunny and not too warm. In the 70s. Famous LA weather. That is why many live here. Sometimes I wonder why I am still here. And just why I am here.

I like going to Venice Beach cuz of all the different characters and artists there. It is a quirky, slightly hippy-ish place. Roller skaters and bike riders, and pretty girls passing out business cards for the marijuana clinics they are standing in front of. The girl that slipped me mine was dressed in jean shorts, and cowboy hat , and brown boots.  Sidewalk entertainers, jugglers and acrobats. Muscle men and basketball players. Someone giving $5 massages.  I like Venice cuz I am quirkly gal and feel a sort of kinship to the artists living on the edge and hawking their wares. I smell pot smoke several times during our walk, and saw a couple of artists smoking a doobie. Smelling incense and sage burning. Checking out cheap jewerly and buying a ring and a few necklaces and a bracelet. All for $2 each. Hearing someone start up a drum circle. I commented to my friends on the fact that someone got stabbed in a drum circle not too long ago at Venice Beach. There is an undelying criminal element at the boardwalk that has brought lots of arrests in the past. Gang activity, junkies hanging out at night. Do not go to Venice Beach at night! That is life in LA though.

So, I have told myself that I should see myself how others see me. People like me and chat with me. They tell me they like how I dress myself in different shades of the same color, and seem interested in me. When I am always alone, it is hard to see myself in a positive way cuz I feel like I am not doing anything with my life. I feel like a failure and get depressed and hide in my apt.

Good thing to say about myself today~people like me! And so do animals.

flyin down that freeway.....

No comments:

Post a Comment