i wish i could figure out better how to format this blog. it takes a lot of time and frustration. and sometimes i feel it is all for naught. i feel compelled to write about being bipolar. i should try and get in touch with other bipolar bloggers to see if they are driven as well. i feel ill all the time and self medicate pretty much constantly. it is making me physically ill though. i have inflammation in my body....my lungs, throat, sinuses, stomach....and i have carpal tunnel and messed up neck and shoulders and hips from sitting at my computer.
my neighbor came by i told her how lucky she is to have a good bf that looks after her. she is sickly most of the time, and can barely walk from back pain...the list goes on and on.....he comes by to look after her and help her. bought her a nice tv to watch, bought her a dog for companionship, takes her to doctor appts, brings her food...etc etc etc...i have never had much of a bf. they were all pretty awful. selfish pricks. now they all try to come back, and i ignore them. i have decided i am a good woman and deserve a good man. i have turned on my light, and the cock roach bfs scuttle from site.....i hate them now.....i will try to forgive them one day.....but i prefer to have an elephant sit on their heads....splat.....hahahhahahahaha
but if i had loved myself in the first place, then i wouldn't have had anything to do with those fools....and i realized that probably no other woman wants them either. one of my exs comes by periodically, trying to get into my apt building to see me.....he buzzes me over and over.....i finally say WHAT!!??? oh hi sandi, i came by to see you. YEAH, so What! and hang up on him.....i can't stand him anymore...... i helped him out so much and i am done with being good to low lives that have no appreciation whatsoever. just take. my friends know i am kind and generous, but when people are bad, you have to steer clear of them for your own growth's sake. you have to ignore them like they are something that crawls from under a rock. they are not humans yet. they are sub humans.....take a mental broom and sweep them out of your head and forget their existence, and never ever let them slink back into your life.....i have done that, and lesson learned....they don't change......so i am evolving myself emotionally. i heal from the inside with insight into myself. be happy these poisonous people are gone from your life..celebrate! jubilation day! c ya! wouldn't want to be ya!
i actually said that once as a parting shot as i closed the door...ahhahahah