saturday mourning

spent a miserable night alone watching tv last night. totally out of money. every month i go through this. living under the poverty line in expensive LA..i get so depressed that i don't want to have anything to do with anyone. hatin life. doin time here on this planet. i don't feel well enough or energetic enough to move forward that much. whatever. i try to be positive, but i just don't care anymore. i don't matter at all in this world. fact.

 fuckin fact.

i have to remember that i am special and god loves me no matter how many humans are ambivalent and uncaring.....