Saturday, March 10, 2012

i hate everyone!!!!!!

i am so fucking irritable all the time. i am trying to not buy any more smoke, cuz i can't afford it anymore. but it is the only thing that improves my mood. but it also has irritated my lungs and stomach from being so harsh on me and i smoke so much. i feel sick from that, but when i don't smoke, i am so irritable, i am like a caged lion, ready to shred whoever comes near me...i feel like i could just jump straight out of my skin sometimes. just full of hate and rage and senstive to everything.  i watch tv and curse at everyone...
sometimes i have to stop the venom building up in me before ballistic, for my own good. i have to stop and breath deep and try and relax my muscles. it works a tiny bit, but i am always wound tight. i wish i could have enough money to go back to my swing dance lessons, or take yoga classes. stress is killing me.

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