suicidal ideation

beam me up scotty, in white light of protection

hai yai !!!!

i love myself and send intense blue skies and huge happy faced beaming sunny flowers

i send myself serenity and peace and lovely lotus blossoms....i practice deep breathing and positive affirmations

please? thank you!

my sweet lil elvis presley and me....he is bigger now

Suicidal thoughts~
i have those recognize those thoughts for what they are....poison. i have to fight it on all sides with white lights of healing.....it is almost 4 am and i feel so god, i don't know. anxious.....scared.....like i'm falling down the hole....it hits me really late at night like this....paranoid...and the cats fight and wrestle and tear the place up..they are keyed up too....and make me stressed

i hear strange noises at night in this big city....every time the santa ana winds blow i feel desperate and full of allergies...i hear the winds howl late at night, and i feel like there is a coyote slithering past me.....furtive...howling at the moon...spooky. ethereal....these winds bring wild fires and death....i feel insanity creeping at the door never more never more.....it is hard to describe. the winds howl up a storm here.

times like this, i blast rock music right into my face and then jump up and dance wildly, as that is the proper way to cleanse the temple of unclean thoughts.....u must decorate ur temple  with good thoughts and hang fire.......

each sign post u see, u can ignore or file away for later.....

turn on ur heartlight, and be open to divinity...it might hit u like it hit saul on the road to damascus, and he wasn't even  looking for it!

i have to love myself and look after myself...be independent and strong and decorate my own soul


I send flowers to myself
I love You Sandi


me vs the world
or the world vs me
don't know anymore
don't much care
if it is divinity i seek
then i will find it
because if it is real
it will find me
i am knocking at the gate
doing a tap dance like gene kelly in singin in  the rain
swingin on a star like bing crosby
bein a funny valentine to ole blue eyes

if they are there, they will answer and welcome me in
don't be afraid, sandi

no, i  won't.
i am not afraid.


i am protected on all sides by white blinding light of clarity and love