Tuesday, February 21, 2012

quarter to three, esoteria 11 11 11

i keep having messages for years now..that is why i started this blog in the first place. that is why i wrote a 30 page essay on being bipolar in one night. if i am directed to send a message, whatever that may be, i will honor it and fulfill my obligation to receive nirvana, heaven, god, jesus, cosmic consciousness, angels, etc....

elysian fields, happy hunting grounds, valhalla, ...all peoples have some ideas of another life beyond.....why deny it? if i am sensitive because i am bipolar or had a concussion, or however it is getting through, it really is getting through. i find it frustratingly insufficient to whet my appetite to improve my mind/body/soul. i want more than trying to over come psychic pain. i think i would like to have a big YEAH that is Right!!!!! i am real!!!! conversation with me....if i have another side to me that can be healed i want it......i want to heal and i want to be a healer. 
my name in greek means helper of mankind..sandra
i have always wanted to live up to that. 
and help animals, too cuz they have it hard here in this world.
maybe i am just trying to work off my sins that i feel guilty about. my self growth to work off my karma. all i know is i can improve and conquer these issues i have that is weighing me down like a dead albatross around my neck.

i have taken many photos of myself and played with them in creative ways, until my computer is too old and my operating system is become a dinosaur. i can't explore more creativity now beyond my old apple computer that is dying...i think if i didn't have my computer to be creative and listen to my tunes, i would go mental for sure. i gotta make some money to keep up with the world and technology...it is important....

so, i am always open to invisible signs. i am sensitive to them. when i  am in a crowd, i am beaming among the crush, the waves of humanity bearing down on me from all sides
i send warrior angels to protect me on all sides and bath me in white golden protective light when i am fearful or feel threatened. i had battles of good and evil in my head since childhood. i writhed in my small  bed as a teen, pulling my hair out, fighting the bad thoughts....i have to be hard and strong to protect my self. i tell people i am a tootsie pop....hard on the outside and soft on the inside. hahaha

i made this photo of myself on 11/11/11,,,,i have numbers in multiples show up to get my attention sometimes. i try and write it down here or on fb....it is hard to keep up and relate all the happens to me.  but yeah, numbers are languages, and they jump out at me. too bad i am so bad at math, or i would be very interested in deciphering mathematical equations from beyond. i think einstein realized the spiritual side to physics...all these phi phy psy words, i find difficult to write sometimes. physics.....ok.....i have  a married friend i chat with sometimes that likes physics....i would love to have a sexy brainy bf or husband that intriqued me...i am curious and should go live in europe among ancient ruins and a myriad of cultures.....i have a big brainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!

so i honor now my spiritual side, and hope that i will be appreciated and loved for who i am...for my soul...closing up shop now,  astro travel from this meat suit....hey good name for a band....

astro travel meat suit!  meat suit astro travel? astro suit meat travel? hahahah 

peace out!

1 comment:

  1. eh too bad my animations don't show up on some of my photos i post here....