Monday, February 20, 2012

sending out an S.O.S.....

how can i prove it? i can't. i hear words spoken to me as i read on my computer.....all i can do is write it down. sometimes i can't write it all down. all the thoughts. i have movies in my head. full scripted movies with actors and me part of the dialogues.
last night i was looking at my name on facebook, sandi, and i hear the name sandi from the tv. strange. it happened.
but i am saying that i want to study it brain inner workings. i had a couple of MRIs at UCLA, so i have proof of my head. hahahhaaaa i make myself laugh. no, but seriously, i am wondering why i get messages.
i have very vivid dreams. in color. very detailed. very emotional. i am in a crowd and i see every detail of strangers around me. my mind makes this does it do it? how do i see so much detail?  i go into a mall in a dream, and everything there is in i was there in reality.. how does my head re construct or invent this all? it is so multi layered, the inner workings of the mind. and to top it all off we have a spirit that tries to guide it all, good or evil. i am trying to become more spiritual and understand what is going on in my head and why i am here and do i matter???????
sometimes, i can watch a movie behind my eyes. it is true. right before i go to sleep...right before going down deep...i am already dreaming. i am split between two worlds. that is when u can lucid dream. if deep REM sleep is supposed to happen after an hour and a half of sleep, and in DEEP sleep, then why am i dreaming while still awake? i am semi concious at the time...i am realizing i am dreaming, and it is full on movie time created in my head. i should be a scientist to study myself. i am trying to remember what that greek philospher said...i life un examined is..i forget.....hahahah i self medicate and kill frontal lobe brain cells.....maybe i should try and get in touch with that famous brain scientist again....i have her on my links here on my profile...she got all esoteric from a stroke. yeah, maybe she can help me. i need some is time....

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