thinkin bout life and sittin in my lil red geo

i have not been feeling well lately....i am trying to get well, but it is hard. i hear these signs and it makes me very emotional. i weep like sudden thunderstorm on a hot florida afternoon~sudden and drenching...leaving me gasping for air..as if i am drowning in my own tears...
i feel no one listens to me or is interested in what i say, so i don't care anymore about whatever it is that is pushing me to make this blog.
i now release that and will just add to my blog as entertainment. as if i am writing a book for everyone to read. a work of fiction, if u will...sci fi....
i never finished my thought on how the sci fi writers predicted things that are now coming to fruition....i say they all tapped into a cosmic mind....being artistic and creative, u can tap into it urself....u just have to be open  to it and stop letting HaRsH ReALiTy....check u at the door to alternate perceptions. believe me, it is hard to do sometimes. reality sux and is miserable. it is all about chasing money in this world. money makes the world go round, according to human perceptions. and there is violence here in this reality, and hate and selfishness and vanity....we are like a lab experiment gone wrong....rats turn on each other and become cannibals when shoved into a small place and left to keep populating....7 billion of us now ....

i get so sad sometimes. just hurts all over my body...just aching pain.......permeates me through and through...even my hair hurts.....i get so stressed that my shoulders are always bunched up and knotted....i have to stop and take a slow breath to try and relax my muscles....anxious and sad and worried and depressed. feel fragile....

anyway, i just thought clarke was right. we really ARE star children. but we have to tip the balance one way or the other....we can't keep teetering on the brink all the time. we have to overcome our base beast part of us, and become divine in thought and deed....overcome the selfish ego part of us, and grow kindness in every garden....every tribe, creed, race...etc......can we do it? well, just look at the world now!!pretty scary stuff......maybe i am so sensitive that i create all this esoteria to delude myself into believing i am special and mean something to the world. FULL RETREAT from so called reality.....i live in my head like teeny tiny eddie murphy.....

i can't help being the way i am...
i can't help being child like
i am just me

a part time hippy
woman child

just keep quiet about it. no one will notice

i like taking photos~ say coookieeeeeesssss!!

i actually had a van that i painted up like this, but mine was better!

i love cats 

been dancing all my life.....